excuse me, can I apply for sick days?

Why is it that the second (insert any man's name here) gets so much as a post-nasal drip, he spends the following days laying in bed or on the couch requesting meals, moaning in "pain", and proclaiming this is the sickest he's EVER been, watching movies and napping frequently? Seriously, WHEN do I get a sick day? I can't recall the last time I took a "sick" day and laid around for DAYS on end. Really, it's not even part of my memory anymore, which means it was a loooong time ago. Perhaps when I was hospitalized for pneumonia 8 years ago? Yes, I do believe that was the last time.

I could probably handle this type of behavior a little better if it was out of sight, out of mind. But it's not. Oftentimes, the "man in my life" spends his sick days on the couch listening to me do the dishes, haul 100 lbs of laundry down the stairs and through the kitchen, break up 152 fights between the kids, make breakfast and lunch AND dinner, leave the house 7 times in one day which entails bundling up the kids in this dreaded Ohio winter and strapping them into their carseats time after time, unloading groceries, switching the laundry around, kissing boo-boos and calming tantrums. Meanwhile, every time a child so much as whimpers, he's asking "Is everything okay?" in his little pathetic sickly voice. Yes, everything is okay! Do you hear me screaming in fear as if one of the children is badly injured to the point I need help? DO YOU?? I don't need you to act like you care every time Nathan slips and falls down. How about when I'm giggling and wrestling with Nathan on the floor upstairs and you are yelling over and over again asking if we're ok. Yes, we're ok. It's called having fun. But perhaps in your delirium of your illness you forget what that's like. It must be so hard for you. So please, just retreat to the bedroom until you are better, please! I will like you MUCH better for it. :)

In Scott's defense...er, the man I may be talking about....he is terribly sick with some kind of food poisoning, stomach flu SOMETHING. He was up, literally, every 45 minutes last night violently ill. I thought for a second he might be dying based on the sounds I heard, but alas, he is still with us.

I don't mean to sound selfish, but I'd really like a sick day now and then. I'm not asking for much. Just one....one per year. A day to lay around and do nothing.

Also (another selfish comment coming), I was really planning on our back splash being started AND finished this week, and today was meant to be the start day. Damn.

Ok, I'm done venting.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.