When Madison was an only child, I used to think there was nothing sweeter in this world than watching her be happy. Her smile, her laugh, her sweetness....it just melted my heart. I could actually feel my heart swell. Unless you are a parent, you can't possibly know what I am talking about. When I was pregnant with Nathan, I had the same thoughts that most second time mommies have. How in the world can I love another child as much as this one? I would look at Madison and think to myself that I could never love another being as much as her. Then Nathan arrived. Not only did I, of course, love my new baby, but the love I felt between Madison and her new baby brother was unreal. Whenever I think of that moment in the hospital when Madison first met Nathan, tears come to my eyes. She walked in the room, climbed up on my bed, asked to hold him, and the second he was in her arms, she began singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to him, just staring at him smiling. And now, 5 months later, Madison is still just as sweet to Nathan as she was when she first layed eyes on him. She takes care of him, protects him, makes him smile, makes him laugh. She wants to be a part of everything we do for him. I'm sure some of that stems from her not wanting to feel left out, but mostly she genuinely just loves being a big sister.
Now, when watching them play together, my heart swells in much the same way it did with Madison "pre-Nathan". I love seeing the way they make each other happy. I want to remember the tremendous amount of pride I feel, because I'll need that memory to get me through the times ahead when Madison is claiming he's looking at her the wrong way and when Nathan uses her favorite doll as a soldier on a suicide mission.
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